i think i may end up to be a terrible blogger!

wow, it's like i think i want to blog and it sounds so fun to journal through the internet, but dang, you really have to make some time for this stuff! and i clearly have not!  heck, i don't even know who will read this!  i guess i have the hope that maybe some of the women whos blogs i truly enjoy will maybe enjoy and relate to my (non-existant) blog too.  i guess that's the point right? am i right? i don't even know!  i am a terrible commenter on others blogs because of time constraints (hence the fact that i cant seem to commit to my own!), but have been SO blessed by a select few blogs and i know i really need to let these girlies know!  anywho, i shall try...
let me share how the Lord has blessed us these last 7 weeks of school!  it's been hard and beautiful and trying and we are learning through it all.  i have three sons 10,8, and 6.  i really struggle to parent my very difficult middle babe.  he seems impossible sometimes.  i get depressed.  i get angry.  i cry.  and i do my very best to surrender this (and my sweet little boy) to Jesus.  and it's still hard.  all i want is to see him have peace and desire to obey and not be SO selfish.  it makes all our lives so so so hard some days that my head will truly THROB and ACHE from the stress.  i KNOW that he is in God's hands, but i fear that i don't have what it takes to be his mama and then my heart breaks and grieves over my shortcomings.  i KNOW i am in God's hands.  He holds me.  He loves me and little dude too.  so, this is on my heart right now.  this is what i am struggling with on a daily basis.  God is so faithful and i know that through prayer, fasting and the Holy Spirit in me i will be able to accomplish the precious tasks before me.

Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for He is GOOD; His LOVE endures forever!
                                                                                                        Psalms 106:1
 

i love this guy.  i am so thankful for him. and i know that with God's grace and help i can do this!